Not willing to settle for a dysfunctional drainage system

When we moved into our new house five years ago, it was brand new. I remember the first time I saw our new house. I fell in love. I shrieked in joy when we pulled up, ran a few laps around my new domain, and then laid in the living room for a good ten minutes to soak it all in. I was in the honeymoon stage with my new abode.

You know how you fall out of the honeymoon stage? When you begin noticing the faults of your spouse more than the reasons you fell in love with them? My house soon made its faults clear. Ever since we moved in, it seems like things have been falling apart. The toilet paper holders fall off about twice a month, the knob in my shower fell off, the stopper in my sink got stuck in the “up” position, the closet door wouldn’t open, and the strings to open my curtains fall off almost nightly. Not to mention we have had windows broken by both golf balls and ducks. Either we are extremely rough on our home, or it was not built with the finest wisdom. I’d like the think it was the latter.

I don’t mean to say we live in a bad house, because we don’t. It’s beautiful, it has lovely stonework outside, a big front door, floor to ceiling windows, a kitchen that has everything I could wish for, vaulted ceilings in my room, and it can handle one heck of a Christmas tree thanks to the tall ceilings in the living room. I love my house. My point is that someone missed some of the finer details of the house. Someone overlooked the little things.

Maybe it would have been better to choose a toilet paper holder that stays in place. Just a minor detail. Putting a heat detector right above our convection oven probably wasn’t the smartest idea. Just a minor detail. I would have liked to have a drain in my shower that doesn’t clog at the sight of one hair. Just a minor detail. Being able to open my blinds with ease would be preferable. Just a minor detail.

My life is good. I have a great family, I am blessed with the opportunity to go to an amazing university, I have wonderful friends at school, I have never been in want. I have an overwhelmingly blessed and abundant life. The creator of my life did a thorough job. The difference between God and the builders of my house is found in the minor details.

My creator cares about each and every little thing about my life. There is no minor, subtle, or petty detail of my life that evades God’s thought. Yes, he has given me all the big, noticeable, good things in my life, but He has created and designed my life to the deepest and most intimate level. He cares that my feelings were hurt by a nasty customer, he cares that I am nervous about an upcoming test, he cares that I am lonely. God is not willing to settle for a crappy toilet paper holder or a dysfunctional drainage system when it comes to our lives. It is good to know he pays attention to the minor details.

The curse of the work apron

I wear a uniform to work everyday: black slacks, black shoes, a special “Market” t-shirt (complete with advertisements on the back), and an apron. It seems the moment I put on this uniform it becomes socially acceptable for people to complain to me, yell at me, and make me feel unnecessarily bad about myself. Today was one of those days where I felt like the majority of customers believed I was the one making their shopping experience subpar. Of course it was my fault that the sign said the peaches were from Mexico when they were really from California. Of course it was my fault that you couldn’t read that the sign said “lemonade” not “pineapples,” making the price of the pineapple more than you thought. Of course it was my fault that the Walla Walla onions didn’t get shipped on time leaving The Market Walla Walla-less.

There is something about me wearing that apron that sends the message, “yell at me, make me feel guilty, treat me like I am not human, I don’t actually have feelings.” As much as this type of treatment hurts, I expect that customers are going to be angry when we don’t have the onions that were on sale. I anticipate customers complaining to me about the prices. I know that no matter what, I will have to take some blows even though I had nothing to do with the problem.

After one particular lady killed any sense of self-worth I felt today, I skulked to the back room, hung my head, and found things to do that would allow me to avoid customers for a few minutes. As I was feeling particularly sorry for myself, I began to realize there is someone who I falsely accuse, who I am disrespectful towards because he wears a “uniform,” if you will. It’s God. God has many roles, or “aprons.” He is Creator, He is Father, He is Healer, He is Redeemer, He is Savior. I know God is my savior and that regardless of what I do, there is no sin He cannot forgive. Does he expect me to sin? Unfortunately, yes. Does he like when I sin, does he accept it without feeling hurt by my sin? No.

Just because I know I am saved does not give me reason to go on living in sin. Just like I (try to) accept the hurtful words of customers and continue giving the “above and beyond” customer service expected of me, God never ceases to be a forgiving and loving God when we continually wrong him.

I have to believe customers don’t really think everything is my fault. They must know that I, a seasonal and minimum wage worker, makes absolutely zero decisions having to do with the store. Similarly, I know God is not to blame for my sins; I recognize my sins are my own downfalls. But the blame is put on him anyway. “God made him who had no sin be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). He already died for each and every sin I have and will commit. Regardless of the fact that he has already died for my sins, each sin hurts him. He does not like to see us fall victim to the temptations of this world.

If I am so affected by the abrasive words of customer I don’t even know, how much more is God affected by the slap-in-the-face sinful behavior of those he died to save? I don’t want to be the rude customer to God. I want to be like the customers who make my day; like the lady who was a little too thankful that I went to get her a flyer, like the man who told me I was the “nicest person ever,” like the lady who comes in with a smile and a laugh each and every day and calls me by name. I appreciate these customers, I look forward to them coming in the store, I want them to come through my line. I hope God smiles when he thinks about me, that when I come into his presence he knows I will be thankful, that I will realize just how great his sacrifice is, and that he loves to hear me call him by name. We can choose to be grumpy and ignorant or joyful and appreciative.