I-want-a-man-before-the-apocalypse

This isn't my typical blog post, but in regards to recent conversations I've had...

There’s a trend among single Christian ladies that you have to “get to the point where you don’t want to be in a relationship before God will bring one to you.”  Do I believe this?  No, not really.  If this is true, why doesn’t anything else in our Christian walk work the same way?  We don’t get to the point where we don’t think about loving others in order for God to make us loving people.  We don’t work to lose the urge to share our faith to have God bring the urge to us.  So I really don’t think we wait to become uninterested in having a relationship for God to bring us one. 

I wouldn’t say we should put ourselves out on the “market” in some desperate, I-want-a-man-before-the-apocalypse kind of way, but we shouldn’t shut ourselves out from the world because we are trying to deny any desire to be in a relationship.  Because let’s face it, that’s just not true. 

What kind of message do we think we are sending when we say, “I don’t want to be in a relationship”?  I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it probably sends guys the message that we don’t want to be in a relationship.  So why would they try? 

And what’s with all this “playing hard to get” and “being mysterious” business?  You know what I think that does?  Nothing.  We shouldn’t be desperate, but why be unavailable? 

And why do we expend so much energy being something we’re not?  We are bombarded with articles explaining to us “how to attract men” and “what men want,” but why change our ways?  Personally, I don’t want to find someone who doesn’t actually want the real me.  If you don’t like what I have to offer, then you’re probably not for me.  In my humble opinion, all those articles should just say:

Step 1:  Find someone who likes you for you the way you are right now. 

Step 2:  When someone comes along who doesn’t like the way you are right now, forget it.

So no, I don’t think God sits in heaven waiting for us to truly believe we are better off single in order for him to bring us our own personal Prince Charming with the snap of his fingers.  In the wise words of my father, “you meet people where you are at.”  So if we are truly following God’s will for our lives, I believe we will end up where He wants us to be.  And it will be in that place where we meet someone.  Not because we have suppressed the desire to be wanted, cared for, or loved.  But because we have followed “his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) 

And that’s it.  Forget about all the trends.  Forget about the how-to articles.  Forget about all the supposedly “tried and true” methods.  Just trust God and follow His will.

Maybe they recognize my silver station wagon Jetta

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday that I am student teaching, I drive on the same roads following the same route to get to the same school at the same time each morning.  And along my way, I see the same people doing the same thing everyday.  There is the mom who stands on the corner with her daughter waiting for the school bus.  There is the middle-aged woman who stands across the street reading her novel as she paces back and forth waiting for the city bus.  There are the same 3 pre-teens performing impressive “tricks” on their bikes along the sidewalk behind WinCo.  And there is the autistic man I would guess to be in his mid 30s who wears the same hoodie everyday was he walks toward me just before I cross Kuebler.  There is often even the same man who is waiting in his red truck finishing his handheld breakfast at the stop sign as I turn onto Melissa. 

I was thinking the other day (while I was driving this route) about how these people somehow play a role in my life.  I expect to see them.  They have become part of my daily commute and the days they are not there make me wonder where else the could possibly be but at their distinct locations doing their distinct “duty” at 7:50 in the morning. 

Then it hit me: maybe some of these people expect to see me.  Maybe they recognize my silver station wagon Jetta complete with Corban stickers on the back window and a tree air freshener hanging off the review mirror.  Maybe they expect to see my still shower-wet hair, mug of much needed coffee, and one of several “teacher sweaters” gracing their presence as they stand waiting for the bus, commuting to work, or finishing a breakfast-on-the-go.  As much as I think and feel like I am the factor that is affected by all the rest, the reality is: I am in this, too. 

There are people in our lives who leave a lasting impact.  Some of those people may not even be aware that we still think about them and are permanently affected by their words, actions, or example. 

There are many people who I am grateful for in my life.  They have helped me grow, learn and figure out this thing called life.  They have inspired me, encouraged me, and challenged me.  And sadly, many of them have no idea of their significance in my life.

There (unfortunately) are also people who have left some kind of scar.  Maybe it was that bully in 7^th grade who mocked me and put sucked-on suckers in my hair.  Or someone who could just never find something nice to say and whose cruel words still ring fresh in my ears.  Many of these people, perhaps even more so than the latter group, have no clue the impact they have made.

Regardless of weather or not you know it, you are making an impact in the lives of the people you come in contact with.  It’s easy to just focus on how others have impacted our own lives, but when we step back and really look at it, we are part of this, too. 

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Don’t get caught up in your hot cup of Joe, not-quite-finished-hair-do, or ever-consuming feeling of being in a hurry as you commute through life.  Remember that you are significant to those around you.  Good or bad, they will remember.  And while you have this opportunity, make the most of it.  Find ways to lift people up instead of bringing them down.  When it all comes down to it, we are all in this together.