The Perfect Substitute

If you have been following this blog at all (or peeking at my facebook wall), you know I have been working as a substitute teacher this year.  It has been the most exciting, eventful, changing, stressful, fun, difficult, challenging, and hilarious job I’ve had.  I have felt like a vagrant teacher; I have felt like a nomadic teacher.  I have no “home” school; I have no consistent schedule.  And the work can be far more difficult than what my paycheck indicates.

Clearly, I have truly enjoyed it, or else I probably wouldn’t force my facebook friends to read daily updates and “moments” from my days in the classroom.  I always have a story to tell by the day’s end. 

But I don’t post everything on facebook.  Like when I line the class up to head to music, only to realize I don’t know where the music room is and I receive 12 different answers from Kindergarteners about where the music room is located.  I don’t tell you about the times I abandon an entire lesson plan because, well, things just aren’t working.  I don’t tell you about the times I can’t find the materials and forgo the science lesson that was supposed to take place at 10:45.  I don’t tell you about the days I end feeling worn out and ineffective.  Simply put, I don’t tell you about my faults as a substitute. 

The definition of substitute is, “one that takes the place of another; a replacement.”  This is precisely what I do on a daily basis.  I take the place of a teacher who is sick, who is out of town, who is at a meeting, or taking care of sick kids at home. Being a “substitute” is difficult due to its own definition; it’s hard to take the place of someone else.  

When I serve as a substitute, I make a lot of mistakes.  I simply cannot be the exact replacement of another teacher.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been told “that’s not how Mrs. So-And-So does it!”  I don’t know how to run each teacher’s “math warm-up.”  I often struggle to figure out the password to the copy machine.  I don’t line up the students like they usually do to go to lunch.  I probably tell too many jokes.  I am an imperfect substitute. 

I was thinking about this the other day: I come into a classroom, do my best to decipher (sometimes seriously lacking) substitute plans, and leave the day not being all too responsible for what happened (or what DIDN’T happen) during the day.  I always end my sub notes with something along the lines of “don’t hesitate to call me with any questions about the day,” but I know they really won’t call because the moment that teacher walks back in the room, they are back to being responsible for their students and I am out of the picture, at least until the next 24 hour flu comes their way.

So what makes a “perfect” substitute?  A perfect substitute is a complete replacement; a perfect substitute wholly takes the place of another; a perfect substitute does not leave any loose ends; a perfect substitute leaves nothing more to be desired.  Sound familiar?  Jesus is our complete replacement, wholly takes our place, does not leave any loose ends, and leaves nothing more to be desired. 

During this Easter holiday, this truth becomes a focus of many.  Rather than give us the punishment due our sins, we are offered the perfect substitute requiring only one thing: saying “OK.”  All we have to do is believe and accept the gift of perfect substitution.  We don’t have to write sub plans (we don’t need to come up with an elaborate way to accept this gift; we can simply say “OK”), don’t have to make copies ahead of time in case the substitute can’t figure out the copy machine (we don’t need to have all our ducks in a row before we are eligible for this gift), and we don’t have to worry about the issues of student problems and unfinished lessons when we come back (this gift will never be revoked, even when we continue to sin). 

Our substitute is complete and enduring.  And the sub notes?  They look something like this:

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25, 26)

Lessons learned by a substitute teacher

It's been two full months since I started subbing, and have been lucky enough to have a job every day since I got my first job (see previous blog).  Over these past weeks, I have learned more about teaching than I did in all my college years combined.  Subbing is proving to be one of the most enjoyable, diverse, difficult, exciting, stressful, and hilarious things I have ever done.  I have subbed just about everything by now: high school PE/health, middle school science, kindergarten, 3rd grade, special ed, high school culinary, 4/5th grade, middle school reading, etc., etc.

Here are a FEW things I have learned...

1.  Students remember those things you wish they wouldn't... like when I say, "next time I come, I'll ____," they ALWAYS hold me accountable.  How can they remember these specific details but can't remember what 6x7 is?

2.  Some secretaries are very kind, welcoming, and helpful; others are... not.  I guess it's only fair they assume someone who's never been in the building before should know where everything is.

3.  The last 90 minutes of full day kindergarten is simply a practice in meltdown avoidance.

4.  There is one major difference between teaching high school PE and kindergarten PE: the high schoolers are bigger.

5.  You do not need "prizes" to be an effective teacher with good classroom management.  In fact, you don't need prizes to make students like you, what they really want is just a good teacher.

6.  Although you technically only need to arrive 30 minutes early, if you're planning on having any idea what you're doing for the day, knowing where the music room is that you will be taking kids to at 10:30, deciphering the lesson plans left in seeming hieroglyphs, making the copies that weren't left for an activity, etc., I suggest you arrive AT LEAST 45 minutes early.  An hour if you're a bit overly paranoid, like me.

7.  Pay attention to the student whose name who you know within the first 10 minutes of class... you will likely need to give them some extra "attention" today.

8.  As a substitute, there is a 92% chance the principal will unexpectedly drop by to "check in."  Be on guard, they're really coming to make sure you, as a substitute, are competent.

9.  87% of aforementioned principal drop-ins happen during a transition time after an exceedingly messy art project.

10.  Even if you really get on students about their chattiness, lack of focus, or tendency to be continually off task, they still love you at the end of the day.  Kids want to be held accountable.

11.  Watching the movie "Freedom Writers" during your first year of teaching will undoubtedly make you feel like you're Hillary Swank.

12.  Always bring a back-up plan (duh).  This became very clear to me when I came into a class with this on the lesson plans: "1:00-2:00 - teacher's choice!"  The exclamation point was probably supposed to be a happy exclamation, but for me (this was one of my first sub jobs), it was more of an oh-my-gosh-I-didn't-know-I-was-supposed-to-have-planned-an-activity-for-a-class-that's-not-mine exclamation.  From that day on, I always bring at least two good books, mad libs, a riddle book, various tongue twisters, and an age-appropriate activity that could take anywhere from 30-60 minutes.

13.  Food allergies run high these days.  Don't even think about bringing food rewards.  I may have learned this the hard way... (And apparently Dum-Dums are made in a plant ravaged with peanut remains?)

14.  Having 45 students in a PE class is totally normal, and according to the district, totally effective.  I beg to differ.

15.  Any sub job posting that has "this job includes bus duty, lunchroom duty, and recess duty" in the job details should be immediately avoided.

16.  Recess as "teacher" is infinitely less fun than I remember recess being as "student."

17.  Being a new face in the classroom, you're a mystery that every student craves to solve.  They want to know your age, they want to know about your family, they want to know... if you're pregnant.

18.  Never pose a question that begins with a phrase like, "How does Mrs. Smith...," you will get 30 different answer yelled at you simultaneously and you'll wish you'd never asked.

19.  When in doubt, forget the confusing, last-minute lesson plans and do what you know how to do best: just TEACH.