The curse of the work apron

I wear a uniform to work everyday: black slacks, black shoes, a special “Market” t-shirt (complete with advertisements on the back), and an apron. It seems the moment I put on this uniform it becomes socially acceptable for people to complain to me, yell at me, and make me feel unnecessarily bad about myself. Today was one of those days where I felt like the majority of customers believed I was the one making their shopping experience subpar. Of course it was my fault that the sign said the peaches were from Mexico when they were really from California. Of course it was my fault that you couldn’t read that the sign said “lemonade” not “pineapples,” making the price of the pineapple more than you thought. Of course it was my fault that the Walla Walla onions didn’t get shipped on time leaving The Market Walla Walla-less.

There is something about me wearing that apron that sends the message, “yell at me, make me feel guilty, treat me like I am not human, I don’t actually have feelings.” As much as this type of treatment hurts, I expect that customers are going to be angry when we don’t have the onions that were on sale. I anticipate customers complaining to me about the prices. I know that no matter what, I will have to take some blows even though I had nothing to do with the problem.

After one particular lady killed any sense of self-worth I felt today, I skulked to the back room, hung my head, and found things to do that would allow me to avoid customers for a few minutes. As I was feeling particularly sorry for myself, I began to realize there is someone who I falsely accuse, who I am disrespectful towards because he wears a “uniform,” if you will. It’s God. God has many roles, or “aprons.” He is Creator, He is Father, He is Healer, He is Redeemer, He is Savior. I know God is my savior and that regardless of what I do, there is no sin He cannot forgive. Does he expect me to sin? Unfortunately, yes. Does he like when I sin, does he accept it without feeling hurt by my sin? No.

Just because I know I am saved does not give me reason to go on living in sin. Just like I (try to) accept the hurtful words of customers and continue giving the “above and beyond” customer service expected of me, God never ceases to be a forgiving and loving God when we continually wrong him.

I have to believe customers don’t really think everything is my fault. They must know that I, a seasonal and minimum wage worker, makes absolutely zero decisions having to do with the store. Similarly, I know God is not to blame for my sins; I recognize my sins are my own downfalls. But the blame is put on him anyway. “God made him who had no sin be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). He already died for each and every sin I have and will commit. Regardless of the fact that he has already died for my sins, each sin hurts him. He does not like to see us fall victim to the temptations of this world.

If I am so affected by the abrasive words of customer I don’t even know, how much more is God affected by the slap-in-the-face sinful behavior of those he died to save? I don’t want to be the rude customer to God. I want to be like the customers who make my day; like the lady who was a little too thankful that I went to get her a flyer, like the man who told me I was the “nicest person ever,” like the lady who comes in with a smile and a laugh each and every day and calls me by name. I appreciate these customers, I look forward to them coming in the store, I want them to come through my line. I hope God smiles when he thinks about me, that when I come into his presence he knows I will be thankful, that I will realize just how great his sacrifice is, and that he loves to hear me call him by name. We can choose to be grumpy and ignorant or joyful and appreciative.