Roses and Raspberries of 2011

Seeing as it’s the end of 2011, I figured this an appropriate time to reflect back on the happenings of the year.  So here they are, folks, my very own roses and raspberries of 2011:

Roses to being an RA

Roses to student teaching.  I can’t imagine a better career choice: your students think you’re way cooler than you actually are, you get all sorts of notes, pictures and presents, you laugh every single day, and there is nothing like the energy you get from spending your day with 8 year-olds. 

Roses to being an RA at Corban University, the girls in my hall, and my RA team.  I never thought I’d be an RA, never planned on being an RA, but I’m so glad the opportunity landed in my path. 

Roses to beginning the final year of college!  A mere 4 months separate me and my diploma.

Raspberries to broken hearts.  Cheers to being smarter next time! 

Roses to spending the summer in Costa Rica

Roses to spending my summer with Royal Servants in Costa Rica instead of at the grocery store washing lettuce and rotating apple displays. 

Raspberries to the tarantulas encountered in Costa Rica. 

Raspberries at my failed attempt to run a marathon… maybe 2012?

  

Roses to being asked to be the Maid of Honor in my beautiful, best friend’s wedding. 

Raspberries to teaching licensing tests

Raspberries to the excessive testing, work samples, and loopholes necessary for teacher licensing. 

Roses to passing my first teacher licensing exam.

Roses to finally finding the infamous “gum wall” in Seattle. 

Roses to awesome housemates

Raspberries to a slightly disappointing Husky football season.  That final loss at the Alamo Bowl was the last straw… how does a defense give up 777 yards?! 

Roses to having mascara run down my face and a sore stomach from laughing everyday with my 4 housemates.  I am blessed by my friends.

Roses to writing a blog post that received over 100 views!  (“No Material Things?!”)  And by association, roses to YOU who read these blogs.

Here’s to a new, fresh, and blessed 2012.  May your New Year be filled with more roses than raspberries. 

No material things?!

During my long car rides home from Salem to Blaine, I listen to a fairly wide selection of music.  Feeling really bored with all my current additions to my ipod, I decided to go back to the good old days.  You know, to see what the 14 or 16 year-old Jill liked to listen to.  I was listening to the song Good Life by Audio Adrenaline when I heard these lyrics:

            “What good would it be

            if you had everything

            but what you didn’t have

            was the only thing you need.”

Hmm.  I don’t recall the 14 year-old Jill making much of a connection with those lyrics.  In fact, I don’t remember the pre-teen me ever really hearing them.  But as I heard them as the current 22 year-old Jill that I am, I found new meaning. 

From the time I became a Christian to the age of 21, my idea of a mission trip was probably similar to most other people’s idea of a mission trip: building houses, making wells for villages to get clean water, and bringing shoes to children in Africa.  Right?  Maybe not completely right. 

Mission trips, in my mind, were about building and bringing people things… material things.  Giving people more comfort.  More material comfort.  Bringing people joy.  Material joy. 

When I was invited to take part in a mission trip this past summer, I was confused why Reign Ministries did not send out mission trips that built houses, brought clean water, and gave comfort to the hurting people of these foreign countries.  What kind of a mission trip was this?  No material things?!  Nope, no material things.  Reign Ministries goes out with a specific purpose: to bring people to Christ. 

What good would a house be if the people living in it never came to know salvation?  What good would clean water be without eternal life?  Doing acts of service like this is a great thing that makes a tremendous impact on the lives of those people, and can be a segue into sharing the gospel.  But the key is to keep the focus on the eternal. 

So maybe mission trips aren’t about building “things.”  Maybe mission trips actually have nothing to do with life on earth.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” Matthew 6:19-20. 

As I spent my summer preparing for the mission trip and going to dozens of villages in Costa Rica, my idea of a mission trip changed drastically.  Mission trips are about changing lives eternally, not about giving a material change.  It’s not bad to build houses for people who don’t have them, or give a couple of poor Costa Rican girls your candy, but the focus should be on the eternal.  Like the wise lyrics of Audio Adrenaline reminded me, what good is it to have everything but to not have the only thing you need?

So what about life back in the states?  A lot of people here have pretty much all they could ever want… what many of them lack is the only thing they really need.  We don’t have to worry about building houses for our neighbors who have 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, and beautiful backyards.  What we do have to worry about is the eternal.  “Missions” are everywhere.  People everywhere are missing the thing they really need.  You can be a missionary, too.  Build relationships with people, pray for them, share your eternal hope with them.  Help them find the one thing they really need.  

If you’re at all interested in Reign Ministries, I would encourage you to visit their site (and download an application for a mission trip!)  http://reignministries.org/

I'm just sayin.

I know it’s been said before… but it hasn’t been said my way.  So here we go: what the age of technology has done to our grammar, spelling, and literacy in general.

1.  Conventions have gone down the drain.  I am not sure why getting your pinky over to the “shift” or apostrophe key has become so difficult, but clearly it has.  Why do we drill our kids that we ALWAYS capitalize our “I’s” and place apostrophes in our contractions, but then fail to take our own advice?  maybe im the only one who thinks this, but its seeming ridiculous now.  lets all try to use the keys weve been given.  the ones weve been given for a reason. k?

2.  Spelling has apparently been washed down the drain with conventions.  The most ridiculous part of this one is that the misspellings or shortened words don’t really make typing any faster.  Why are we leaving out vowels?  Just use your thumb, index finger, or whatever finger you use for texting/typing and push that “a”!  but i guess if ths is bttr 4 qck txting, then whtvr.  i guess it does make me feel coolr than the way i uslly typ and txt.  but lets try a lttle hrdr to get those vwls in there. k thx.

3.   Have you noticed those stupid abbreviations?  Or even worse, have you used  them? “Totes presh?!”  Bleh.  People don’t even just reserve these stupid abbreviations for texting and typing, but they actually say them.  in my humb opin, its totes unnecess to abbrev everyth we say.  but peeps probs do it cuz it makes things sup awk when someone doesn’t know what ur sayin.  but whateves. 

4.  Is it just me, or do those superfluous “y’s” drive anyone else crazy?  Does “happyy birthdayy” somehow make my birthday happier?  Does “heyy” grab my attention better than the old-fashioned “hey?”  Is “Fridayy” more Friday-ish than “Friday?” Not really.  Let’s stop holding down the “y” key so long.  One “y” is good.  Okayy?

So if you write something on my Facebook wall like “heyy! whatcha up 2 fridayy?  im hopin we can get 2gether. maybs ice cream, a movie, or whateves.  txt me!” … you’re probably driving me crazy. 

On the other hand, if you use “there,” “their,” and “they’re” correctly, you’re probably on my favorites list. 

I’m just sayin.  

[Oh, and if you're wondering what my biblical tie in for this blog is... ask yourself this question: Do you see any of these literary crimes being committed in the Bible?  No.]

Digging through the trash for a retainer in an Oregon monsoon

It’s been said that friends make the good times better, the bad times more bearable, and in my humble opinion, the weird times funnier.  My best friend (and roommate) has proven this point to me over and over again.  As I was getting ready for bed last night a sinking feeling overwhelmed me as I realized I had taken out my retainer, put it in a paper towel, and then placed it on the kitchen counter.  (Why I thought it was a good idea to remove my retainer in the kitchen is a mystery to me.  I probably wasn’t thinking clearly at 6 in the morning.)  I vaguely remembered clearing off the kitchen counter sometime in the afternoon, and most likely that clearing included the paper-towel-wrapped piece of plastic tooth preservation.

After about 4 minutes of panicking, my better half and best friend calmly told me that we were going to get on our shoes, put on coats, go out to the trash bin sitting on the side of the street, and dig through to find my retainer (which was recently replaced from being thrown away and lost last year).  We walked outside into the typical Oregon monsoon, opened the big green lid, and pulled out the most recent bag of household kitchen trash.  It was quite the scene, complete with Ziploc bags on our hands as “gloves.” 

We dug through the rotten turkey meat, the pesto covered noodles, the eggshells, the soggy paper towels, the glops of yogurt, and other such trashy items.  As disgusting as this all was, I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness. 

Just as I was losing hope, I found a wadded up paper towel slightly resembling the roof of my mouth.  Retainer obtained.                         

As thrilled as I was to have my retainer back, I was highly disappointed in finding out via google that no, I could not dishwash, bleach, or boil my now more than slightly germy tooth preserver. 

But regardless, I fell asleep laughing.  And I couldn’t help but think that I most likely would have just left my retainer for the garbage man if I hadn’t had the encouragement of a good friend to choose the better route and dig through the trash.  Isn’t that really what friends do?  They help us dig through the trash.  Sometimes that comes in the form of being the one who’s there when the chips are down.  Sometimes that comes in the form of being the one to confront you when no one else will.  Or sometimes it just literally means digging through the trash to find a lost retainer.

I am reminded of this in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help pick him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”  (4:9-10)

I am thankful for those friends who help me up.  Or help me dig through the trash for a retainer in an Oregon monsoon.  

Shut up and listen

I love being “teacher.”  As I complete my student teaching and look forward to someday having my very own class, I can’t help but grin.  I love how they make me laugh, I love how each student is unique, I love how no two days are the same, I love remembering back to my favorite year of 3^rd grade and now doing my best to make this their favorite year, too.  I love teaching.

But to those of you who say teaching really isn’t a profession, is “easy,” or just a form of glorified babysitting, I beg to differ.  Trying to get that many kids to actually listen to you for 8 hours is hard!  After teaching a 30-minute lesson to a more than normally chatty class of 30, I used a last ditch effort to get my students to listen.  “Does anyone know what a pet peeve is?”  I asked.  There was no response from a befuddled group of 8-going-on-9-year-olds.  “A pet peeve is something that really bothers someone.  Do you know what my pet peeve is?” 

Still no response.

“My pet peeve is when students talk, sing, hum, or do other distracting things while I am trying to teach.  It makes it very hard for me to teach when I don’t think my students are paying attention.” 

The shocked looks on their faces kept them quiet.  At least for the next 90 seconds. 

As I drove home feeling defeated that my students had not paid attention to my mapping lesson (which I had spent time planning and thought would be an engaging lesson), I tried to get my mind off the matter by thinking about other things: “I wonder if I’ll ever get a teaching job with the economy the way it is… Where am I going to live after graduation in May… Why doesn’t God help me figure out my future… Does He just want me to be lonely, homeless, and unemployed for the rest of my life?”

This is how I spend a lot of my time- talking/singing/humming my own sad little story while I ignore what God has to say to me.  But God doesn’t smack my hand and inform me of his “pet peeve” of my own ignorance.  Rather, he waits.  He waits for me to be ready to listen.  He is patient and allows me to come to him.  He loves me despite the chatty, oblivious 3^rd grader I still am. 

In my education classes, they always tell us to wait.  If students are not paying attention, wait.  It will be uncomfortable, it will seem like eternity, but it is worth the wait.  I do my best to wait for my students, but I am impatient. 

What if God was impatient?  What if he only waited for the 30 seconds I can barely wait for my students?  What if he just threw in the towel every time I ignored his call?  But he never tires of waiting for me to listen. 

I often think how much smoother my lessons would go if my students would just listen.  If they only knew how much time it would save if we could just get through one lesson uninterrupted!  I wonder if God ever thinks, “If only she knew how much smoother and easier things would be if she would listen instead of talking over me.”  Even if he does think these things, he remains patient and continues to wait. 

Maybe I should take my own advice I give to my students.  Maybe I just need to shut up and listen.  

I-want-a-man-before-the-apocalypse

This isn't my typical blog post, but in regards to recent conversations I've had...

There’s a trend among single Christian ladies that you have to “get to the point where you don’t want to be in a relationship before God will bring one to you.”  Do I believe this?  No, not really.  If this is true, why doesn’t anything else in our Christian walk work the same way?  We don’t get to the point where we don’t think about loving others in order for God to make us loving people.  We don’t work to lose the urge to share our faith to have God bring the urge to us.  So I really don’t think we wait to become uninterested in having a relationship for God to bring us one. 

I wouldn’t say we should put ourselves out on the “market” in some desperate, I-want-a-man-before-the-apocalypse kind of way, but we shouldn’t shut ourselves out from the world because we are trying to deny any desire to be in a relationship.  Because let’s face it, that’s just not true. 

What kind of message do we think we are sending when we say, “I don’t want to be in a relationship”?  I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it probably sends guys the message that we don’t want to be in a relationship.  So why would they try? 

And what’s with all this “playing hard to get” and “being mysterious” business?  You know what I think that does?  Nothing.  We shouldn’t be desperate, but why be unavailable? 

And why do we expend so much energy being something we’re not?  We are bombarded with articles explaining to us “how to attract men” and “what men want,” but why change our ways?  Personally, I don’t want to find someone who doesn’t actually want the real me.  If you don’t like what I have to offer, then you’re probably not for me.  In my humble opinion, all those articles should just say:

Step 1:  Find someone who likes you for you the way you are right now. 

Step 2:  When someone comes along who doesn’t like the way you are right now, forget it.

So no, I don’t think God sits in heaven waiting for us to truly believe we are better off single in order for him to bring us our own personal Prince Charming with the snap of his fingers.  In the wise words of my father, “you meet people where you are at.”  So if we are truly following God’s will for our lives, I believe we will end up where He wants us to be.  And it will be in that place where we meet someone.  Not because we have suppressed the desire to be wanted, cared for, or loved.  But because we have followed “his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) 

And that’s it.  Forget about all the trends.  Forget about the how-to articles.  Forget about all the supposedly “tried and true” methods.  Just trust God and follow His will.

Maybe they recognize my silver station wagon Jetta

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday that I am student teaching, I drive on the same roads following the same route to get to the same school at the same time each morning.  And along my way, I see the same people doing the same thing everyday.  There is the mom who stands on the corner with her daughter waiting for the school bus.  There is the middle-aged woman who stands across the street reading her novel as she paces back and forth waiting for the city bus.  There are the same 3 pre-teens performing impressive “tricks” on their bikes along the sidewalk behind WinCo.  And there is the autistic man I would guess to be in his mid 30s who wears the same hoodie everyday was he walks toward me just before I cross Kuebler.  There is often even the same man who is waiting in his red truck finishing his handheld breakfast at the stop sign as I turn onto Melissa. 

I was thinking the other day (while I was driving this route) about how these people somehow play a role in my life.  I expect to see them.  They have become part of my daily commute and the days they are not there make me wonder where else the could possibly be but at their distinct locations doing their distinct “duty” at 7:50 in the morning. 

Then it hit me: maybe some of these people expect to see me.  Maybe they recognize my silver station wagon Jetta complete with Corban stickers on the back window and a tree air freshener hanging off the review mirror.  Maybe they expect to see my still shower-wet hair, mug of much needed coffee, and one of several “teacher sweaters” gracing their presence as they stand waiting for the bus, commuting to work, or finishing a breakfast-on-the-go.  As much as I think and feel like I am the factor that is affected by all the rest, the reality is: I am in this, too. 

There are people in our lives who leave a lasting impact.  Some of those people may not even be aware that we still think about them and are permanently affected by their words, actions, or example. 

There are many people who I am grateful for in my life.  They have helped me grow, learn and figure out this thing called life.  They have inspired me, encouraged me, and challenged me.  And sadly, many of them have no idea of their significance in my life.

There (unfortunately) are also people who have left some kind of scar.  Maybe it was that bully in 7^th grade who mocked me and put sucked-on suckers in my hair.  Or someone who could just never find something nice to say and whose cruel words still ring fresh in my ears.  Many of these people, perhaps even more so than the latter group, have no clue the impact they have made.

Regardless of weather or not you know it, you are making an impact in the lives of the people you come in contact with.  It’s easy to just focus on how others have impacted our own lives, but when we step back and really look at it, we are part of this, too. 

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Don’t get caught up in your hot cup of Joe, not-quite-finished-hair-do, or ever-consuming feeling of being in a hurry as you commute through life.  Remember that you are significant to those around you.  Good or bad, they will remember.  And while you have this opportunity, make the most of it.  Find ways to lift people up instead of bringing them down.  When it all comes down to it, we are all in this together.

Costco sized bag of spinach

Along with the two bags of frozen spinach I bought at WinCo (which have since been turned into purée), I bought a Costco sized bag of spinach with my roommate.  Needless to say, I have been eating a lot of spinach lately.  I have spinach salads, spinach sandwiches, spinach soup, sautéed spinach, spinach sloppy joes, and even made brownies (two batches) out of my puréed spinach.  If I can find a way to put spinach in it, I will. 

It began as an effort to be healthier, turned into a need to use up my surplus of spinach before it goes bad, and has ended in an actual desire to have spinach in nearly all my foods. 

Like my recent affinity for spinach, which began as a chore, turned into a necessity, and resulted in a genuine “passion” (as much as you can have “passion” for spinach), my faith gone through a similar cycle. 

I remember accepting Christ into my heart out of a desire to be “healthier.”  I wanted to be saved from my sins and God was the answer.  As I grew in my walk with Christ, I began to recognize the need I had for genuine and true faith.  Like I put spinach in everything, Christ suddenly became the necessary ingredient to everything in my life.  As time passed and this became a habit, I noticed a sincere desire to have Christ as the driving force of my life.  I recognized the true goodness it brought.

I like spinach.  I like the way it tastes, I like knowing it provides me with good nutrition, I like that it can easily be added to most meals. 

I’m in love with my Savior.  I find comfort in knowing the salvation He provides is certain and unwavering.  I rejoice in knowing that He has created me with careful thought.  I find peace in knowing that He wills good for my life and watches over me at all times. 

Eventually, I will come to the end of my mammoth sized bag of spinach.  The nutrient-rich, leafy goodness will disappear (and I will probably buy another bag).  But my faith will never run out.  In fact, it has the reverse effect: the more I use and lean upon my faith, the greater it grows. 

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6-7).

As I had my hand submerged in the toilet...

Since moving into my house, I have done some things I don’t generally do.  Or at least things I don’t generally do successfully.  Some of these activities include:

Hooking up my television to the cable.  When my efforts on this endeavor proved to be successful, I could barely believe it.  How in the world did I manage to make this work?!  These are the things I usually have Dad or some other more “technologically equipped” person do.  Last time I tried to do something like this (which was hooking my computer up to my printer), it took about 4 months to get the thing working… and I didn’t even do it, I ended up having a friend fix what I had done.

Fixing the toilet when it broke.  Yes, I have been here for just over three days, and the toilet is already acting up.  These are the things I generally have the big sis or the invincible Mom do.  First of all, it’s gross.  Secondly, if you read the previous paragraph, you know there’s a good chance I’ll mess up something like this more than it already is.  BUT, I pulled off the lid to the top compartment, saw the chain being all unattached, and knew I had to take matters into my own hands.  I reached into the not-quite-clean-looking water, and successfully fixed the toilet, which is now flushing again.

Being especially homemaker-ish.  In these past three days, I have cooked and baked copious amounts of food, because of said cooking- have done lots of dishes, done the laundry, sanitized the kitchen, moved in my stuff and organized it all. These are the things I do on occasion, but not on the high frequency schedule like the past few days. 

As I had my hand submerged in the toilet tonight, I realized that God has equipped me with the skills and “courage” (hey, for me, sticking my hand in the toilet requires courage) I need to be living on my own.  I love how God provides even the smallest needs.

And then I was reminded of this past summer.  I was invited to co-lead a mission trip to Costa Rica.  Now if you know me, you know this is outside of my comfort zone.  I had only been camping once before (and not all that successfully), I had never been on a mission trip longer than about a week, and I tend to be a “homebody.”   But I said “yes” and had the most amazing summer of my life.   And God was faithful to equip me this summer. 

I could not imagine spending my summer any other way than in Costa Rica.  I learned so much about myself, about my God, and about life in general.  “Comfort” to me before this trip was having 13 kinds of yogurt to choose from in the fridge, a bathroom all to myself with 6 different kinds of perfume, a car at my fingertips at all times, and a comfy mattress with University of Washington sheets.  There were times during this summer that I missed these items, but I was never in need.  I had plenty of food, bathrooms that served the needs I had, shoes to walk in or buses to ride, and a cot and sleeping bag to rest in. 

When God leads me to any situation, good or bad, He always equips me.  Even when I think there’s no possible way I can get through it, I do.

Wherever it is that you go, God will go with you and provide you with all you need.  “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  (Deuteronomy 31:6)

So wherever God is calling you or leading, fear not.  He is there with you and will never forsake you, even if you’re fixing a toilet.

You would do this

Seeing as it’s about time for student teaching and classes to start up, I made my way down to Salem yesterday to move into the house we are renting.  All I could think about on my drive down was this cute yellow house I have been dying to get into.  By the time I got to Salem, it was about 9pm and getting dark.  I turned onto the street where our beloved yellow house resides and I began smiling from ear to ear.  I got to the top of the hill, which I knew meant I was finally at our house, I pulled into the driveway, grabbed the first suitcase that fell out of the car when I opened the door, and waltzed my way to the front door.

Before I had left, I wrote down the key box code on my hand to make sure I wouldn’t get locked out.  As I walked/waltzed/flopped my way to the front door, I look down on my hand, pleased that the code is still present and visible.  I open the screen door to get to the key box, but it didn’t seem to be there anymore.  I wondered where it would have been moved to, so I used the light of my cell phone to search the premises for this essential key (no pun intended) to my entrance. 

Now I begin to panic.  How am I going to get in?  Why would they take away the key box when they had just sent me the email telling me the code?  As I got myself into this panicked frenzy, I realized there were lights on in the house.  “Hmm, that’s funny.  I thought I was the first to move in.”

Then I noticed the furniture in the front living room (which I was seeing because I had my face pressed up to the window) was different than I had remembered. 

This is when I realize I am at the wrong house.  Completely humiliated, I grab my hefty suitcase, my purse, and run for my car.  I remember getting into my car and saying under my breath, “you would do this, Jill!”  Apparently, I turned into the driveway one house too soon. 

I sat for a long time trying to tie this into something Biblical… like how heaven awaits us but we’ll get there on the first try, or how we need to pay attention to the details, or how we have to stay focused until the very end, or something along those lines.  But then I realized this is just a funny story.  If it teaches you any lesson, let it be this: write down the house number to the house you’re moving into before you get there.  

Fake fish that are alive

I admit it.  I look at my “stats.”  Blogger keeps track of how many views my page gets, what posts are being read, how people find my page, and where the people who are reading my page are from.  I’ve had 1,662 views, my most viewed post is “I guess I didn’t come off as ‘campy’,” I’ve been referred by 10 different websites, and viewers have come from 10 different countries (including Slovenia, Netherlands, and Malaysia).  But the stat I find most interesting is the keywords people have typed into their browser that have brought them to my page. 

Among these keywords are “grocery store wet racks,” “barren orchids,” and my all time favorite, “fake fish that are alive.” 

Now when I think about the people who have typed in these words, I know they were not intending to get to my page.  We’ve all done this- been searching for something important (like “fake fish that are alive”), we click on what we think will be a helpful page, and it turns out to be some stupid blog or unhelpful site. 

But then I thought, “what if these people did read my blog?”  Maybe, by a google misguide, these people will get a little piece of Biblical truth.  Maybe something I have said will stick with them.  Maybe I can plant a seed. 

In our daily lives, we run across strangers everyday.  We interact with people (sometimes without even knowing it) and we make an impact on their lives.  We are the salt and light of this world. 

“You are the salt of the earth… you are the light of the world” (Matthew 5:13, 14).  What we say and do is noticed by others, sometimes by accident (like that poor soul who desperately needed to know about fake fish that are alive who ended up at my blog).  So we must let everything we do be seasoned by our faith.  Always remember that we are Christ’s representatives and something little we do may end up playing a vital role in someone else finding Christ. 

Who knows, maybe in heaven God will have a stat sheet for us to see all the “keywords” that planted seeds in others’ lives: “was patient in the long line,” “offered help to the lady with a flat tire,” “smiled at me everyday,” “always found joy in every situation.”  You never know what little things you do that may have a tremendous impact.  

Simply come, simply groan

Today is one of those days.  I feel like writing.  I want to write some inspirational blog that makes you all think, “Wow!  I feel moved by that!”  But of course, I can’t think of a funny anecdote to relate to a Biblical truth to move you all (“you all” refers to the 10 people who read this) to tears.  I have things I want to say, things God has taught me over this summer, joy that I want to share with others, but I don’t know the words to say it all.

As I was sitting here in my blue lazy boy chair agonizing over the fact that I don’t know what to write, Romans 8:26 came to mind: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” 

How many times have you approached God in prayer but not known what to say, or how to say it?  How many times have you felt the deepest pain or the greatest joy but not known how to ask God for help or say “thanks” for the joy given you? 

This is the beauty of the Holy Spirit.  He lives to intercede for us.  We don’t have to know the words to say.  There is already someone telling God exactly what needs to be said on our behalf.  Don’t hesitate to approach God with groans.  The Spirit is there with words to say. 

When I talk with my friends, post something on facebook, write a letter, leave a voicemail, or speak by any other means of communication, I feel the need to come up with clever, witty phrases to convey my “deep insights.”  I think I come to God feeling the same way.  “How can I say this to impress God?  How can I present this to God in the most mature way?”  God doesn’t care that you use impressive words and expansive vocabulary.  Simply come, simply groan.    

Jesus with skin on

It was our first meal in Cachí (the village where we stayed in Costa Rica) when we met our friend, José.  As we finished our meal, I looked out the window to my right and saw a little boy’s head peeking around the corner.  I waved and he smiled back.  After a good 5 or 10 minutes of staring in the window, he decided to come inside with his own permission.  The group was receiving directions for the day when this boy began walking around, giving hugs, waving “hello,” and making himself at home. 

I tried to ask José how he was, “Como estás?”  No reply.  Then I tried to ask him his name, “Como se llama?”  No reply.  As a last resort, I simply tried to say hello, “Hola?”  Still, no reply.  It turns out that José is deaf.  It broke my heart that I couldn’t communicate with this little boy who was so excited that the gringos had arrived in Cachí.  How would I build a relationship with him?  How would I get to know him?  How would I share with him about Christ? 

The fact that we struggled to communicate with José didn’t deter him from visiting us daily.  Everyday as our bus would return from our village ministry, José was standing in the road awaiting our return.  He wore the biggest smile, waved his arms, and ran alongside of the bus as we pulled up to the church.  José was a common sight to see among our team.  He loved to take our cameras and have paparazzi photo shoots, he loved to clap to the music we played, he gave daily hugs, and was our biggest fan at futsal games. 

By the end of our stay in Cachí, it was apparent that we had all built a relationship with our new friend.  As we said our goodbyes as we loaded the bus to leave, José gave out his famous hugs (this time a little longer than normal) and shed tears to see us go.  It broke my heart.  But I was joyful in knowing that we had managed to show love to José (and he showed love to us) regardless of the fact that we could not talk to him.  We had shared Christ with José. 

Our ministry in Costa Rica was with the ticos there.  For the most part, they did not speak English, or only spoke a little.  This made ministry difficult for many people on the team who did not know any Spanish.  How could we share Christ if we couldn’t speak the same language?  Where do you begin? 

Just like with José, sharing Christ does not need to come from words alone.  Of course, we were equipped with Spanish pamphlets that explained the Gospel, but the main way we shared Christ was through our actions.  The students were often sent out to be “Jesus with skin on.”  This was a time for students to go out into the villages and do things Christ would do: pick up trash, buy treats for kids, wash cars, strike up conversations with lonely people (even if these conversations only consisted of ‘como estás?’), clean someone’s shop, LOVE PEOPLE. 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  (John 13: 34-35)

That’s what we are called to do: love people.  So find ways to love.  How can you love with actions?  How can you share Christ in all you do?  Go and be Jesus with skin on.  

Hasty conclusions about my pasty skin

I love going to the fruit stand up the street here in Costa Rica.  I usually walk up in the morning to grab some green beans, an apple, or a pepper to take with me for the day.  The other day when I went to the stand, an old man was there buying his own produce.  I did the friendly (socially acceptable) thing- I smiled and then looked away.  This man, however, did not.  He smiled, but then stared at me for a good 2 minutes or more.  All I could think was, "how rude!" and "this is NOT polite."  I did my best to ignore him and turn my head so he couldn't stare.  I know my pasty white skin is a rare sight around here, but this was getting ridiculous.

It was at this moment of me thinking the worst of this man that I realized he was trying to pay for the apple I wanted to buy.  Embarrassment overwhelmed me.  How dare I think the worst of this man when he was attempting to show me love?

John 7:24 reminds us, "do not judge by appearances, but with right judgement." 

Far too often I make assumptions.  I make assumptions based on appearances, limited knowledge, and biased judgments.  And far too often these assumptions are wrong.

Things are not always as they seem.  Maybe I shouldn't jump to hasty conclusions about my pasty skin attracting unecessary attention.  Maybe I just shouldn't jump to conlcusions at all.  Maybe I should leave that up to God and mind my own business.

Confessions of a Clueless Costa Rican

Because time on the internet is limited here, I don´t have a funny anecdote to tell and then relate to a Biblical truth.  But I am sure those will come later... when I have more time.  But for now, here´s an update on my Costa Rican happenings:

1.  The food here is incredible.  The Costa Rican ladies make dinner for us every night and it is AMAZING.  Lots of beans and rice, vegetables, and good meat.

2.  The people here are so kind.  My first memory here is walking out of the airport to see a man who was smiling, greeting us and guiding us to our bus.  It was a good feeling.  I felt welcome.

3.  I do not care for the tarantulas known to grace this area of the globe, including the kitchen where we are staying.

4.  The carnecerias (meat shops) here are not like the ones in the United States.  The smell is less than appetizing, along with some of the cuts of "meat" (cow stomach, chicken throats, sausage made from pig blood, etc.).  However the two people who work there every day are so kind.

5.  Soccer is HUGE here.  I think I have watched more soccer in the past 3 days than I have watched over the course of my 21 years of existence.  I tried playing in a little practice game back when we were at training camp.  It was fun, but laughable on my part.

6.  Previously mentioned soccer watching has resulted in awesome opportunities to talk with the Costa Ricans.  Yesterday I talked with a family, one of the members (names Rossy) is suffering from cancer.  They asked me to pray for her.  Would you pray for Rossy too?  Pray for healing, for comfort, for finances, and for the doctors´ wisdom. 

7.  Costa Ricans are not familiar with mint life savers.  We shared some with them and they had no idea how to eat them.  I tried not to laugh, knowing that I have done some fairly ridiculous things since being here as well.

8.  The stray dogs here are like guard dogs.  "Sophie," who has been here for the past couple years, waits for me to go get bread every morning.  She runs up to me and follows me all the way to the panaderia (bread shop). 

9.  If you think of it, please pray for our team.  Pray for unity, courage in sharing our faith, pray that the language barrier would not hinder our testimony, pray for safety and health, and pray that God would prepare the hearts of the people we talk to here in Costa Rica. 

For the past 14 days...

I have officially been camping for two weeks now.  The past couple of weeks have been filled with "firsts."  Here are a few of them:

1.  I have become fairly confident in assembling tents, and have taken part in the setting up of about 9 tents.  Pretty impressive for someone who has only been camping once before (and was NO help in the assembly process of the tent).

2.  I have learned the art of wearing shorts with industrial black boots in the morning to avoid soggy feet from the morning dew.

3.  I have learned how to make "noodle boodle."  Essentially, this is just copious amounts of elbow macaroni with 6-8 cups of mayo.  Funny how constipation is an issue around here...

4.  I have brushed my teeth and washed my face in the "trough."  No sinks needed here, folks.

5.  I have used a port-a-potty everyday for the past 14 days.

6.  I have learned that it is not good to try to stand in your tent when your tent is south of 4.5 feet- it results in an achy back.

7.  I have learned that you need to be careful with your fashlight inside your tent when you are changing at night.  "Shadow shows" are seriously frowned upon here. 

8.  I have never thought of going to WalMart as an excited outing.  But let me tell you, it is.

9.  I have learned that "rain" here in Illinois is not like the "rain" back in Washington.  I think they should stop using the term "rain" and go for something more along the lines of "torrential downpour."  It's really not fair to those of us from the west coast who think "rain" means "grab a sweatshirt." 

I'm sure there will be plenty more firsts along the way, but I thought I would write some down now before I forget.  I can't say there aren't times when I wish I was at home, with a mattress, with a roof, with food that doesn't include mayo... but I am happy to be here and excited for what God has in store for the next 5 weeks. 

"See-yourself-in-the-shades" conversations

We’ve all experienced it: that awkward conversation when you can see yourself in the other person’s sunglasses.  It’s weird on several levels.  First of all, you feel like you’re talking to yourself- is there really someone behind those darkened lenses?  Secondly, you don’t really know where the other person is looking- can they tell you’re checking yourself out in their shades?  And lastly, you always notice something not so pleasant in your reflection- a clump of disobedient hair, a zit that’s grown dramatically over the past 3 hours since you’ve seen a mirror, or maybe a little residue left over from lunch on your chin.  I really don’t like these conversations.  I don’t want to be looking at myself and I am constantly distracted by all the imperfections of my reflection staring back at me that the conversation goes quickly by the wayside. 

This afternoon I had one of these “see-yourself-in-the-shades” conversations and something struck me:  when Christ sees me, I am (in a sense) wearing sunglasses.  Once accepting Christ into our lives, God sees us through the “Christ-filter.”  Suddenly it has nothing to do with what I’ve done and it becomes about who I am in Christ.  God looks at me, sees himself in the reflection of my shades, and every imperfection I fear is wiped away. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.  And he has committed us to the message of reconciliation.  We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though Christ were making his appeal through us.  We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”  (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)

So stand with your head held high wearing the sunglasses of Christ.  You are forgiven.  

I think I have ended up where I need to be

Have you ever gotten lost while trying to get somewhere?  Has getting lost ever brought you somewhere even better?  Maybe a hole-in-the-wall bakery, a quaint park, or a road that goes beside a pretty creek.  A lot of the getting lost “experience” depends on attitude.  If you can laugh about it and embrace what you’ve stumbled upon, you just might find something better than where you were headed. 

 

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I need to be.”  (Douglass Adams)

I never intended to go to Corban University.  I had always dreamed of going to the University of Washington.  I remember telling my parents at the age of 13, “If I don’t get into UW, I’m just going to wait and apply again the next year.”  I did apply, I did get in, but I didn’t go.  I did not go where I intended to go, but Corban was exactly where I needed to be.

I never intended to be an RA.  I liked my private, loner life and thought being an RA was far beyond my comfort zone and capabilities.  But somehow in the whorl-wind of spring semester of my sophomore year, I applied and got a spot.  I did not go where I intended to go, but being an RA turned out to be one of the biggest blessings yet. 

I never intended to go on a big, out of the country mission trip.  I love being the “sender,” the one who stays behind and prays for those who go.  But an invitation to help lead a mission trip to Costa Rica landed in my lap and God gave me the courage to say yes.  This unintended destination even surprised my friends and family.  I did not stay like I intended to stay, but going is what I have been called to do. 

Have you ended up somewhere besides where you planned on going?  Are you currently feeling as if you’ve veered from your chosen path and are “lost?”  Just wait; hang on for a little while longer and maybe you’ll find that you too have ended up where you need to be. 

"I didn't spill it, it's not my responsibility"

Going to the movies used to be a magical event.  The theater was always bustling with "mature" teens I hoped to some day be like, excited kids, adults, awkward couples, and even grandparents.  The screen was bigger than any wall in my house.  And the theater itself was generally located somewhere “exciting” (aka: the mall).  For some reason, the magic seems to have faded.  I went to the theater yesterday and it’s just not how I remembered.  First of all, I did not realize it now costs $10 to see a movie ($13 for 3D).  Secondly, the seating in this particular theater was less roomy than most planes I have been on.  And thirdly, about three rows were graced by the presence of a large soda spill. 

We chose the row with the spill anyway, walked across the sticky floor, and sat in seats that avoided the sugary mess.  We watched as group after group passed up our row because “someone spilled soda!” Everyone saw the problem, everyone saw it as a problem, but no one actually did anything about it.  Movie-goers simply hobbled over the pod of seats adorned with soda or picked a different row altogether. 

I’m guessing the general mindset was “I didn’t spill it, it’s not my responsibility.”  Isn’t that a universal truth?  When we come across any problem that wasn’t directly our fault, we avoid it at all costs.  There are so many problems that surround us: people without food, clothes, and homes.  Families devastated by the loss of a loved one.  Kids without parents.  Entire people groups who don’t know God.  You didn’t create those problems.  But does that mean you’re off the hook?  I think James 2:15-17 begs to differ:

“Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith, by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” 

Taking action means giving effort.  If I cared enough to clean up the soda spill I would’ve had to go find the bathroom, grab some paper towels, and come back to clean it up.  But I was “comfortable” in my seat and didn’t want to stumble through the sticky, less than roomy row to deal with the problem. 

I hate the fact that some kids go to bed hungry every night.  But each night I go to bed a little overfed and less than eager to “solve world hunger.”  The effort it would take to find ways to help those kids seems like too much to add into my schedule of to-dos.

The reasoning here is lousy.  Just like finding a few paper towels (or even just finding a theater worker to clean the mess) would have been a simple task, finding ways to take action for problems like hunger, homelessness, and heartbreak is not really that difficult. 

So let’s stop thinking about the problems we hate to see in the world and start doing something about them. 

Has life got you in a lampshade?

My dog, Zoe, is currently wearing a lampshade on her head.  You know- those plastic cone things dogs have to wear so they can’t lick, bite, scratch, and whatever else. 

Zoe got “fixed” last week.  Unbenounced to her, she was taken to the vet, cut open, “fixed,” sewed up, and sent home not knowing what had just happened.  Within a day or two, one of the stitches came undone, got infected, and Zoe was taken back to the vet.  This time she came back with orders to wear the lampshade.  Throughout this process, Zoe has been forced to sit still (no jumping, running, playing, fetching, etc.), she has been yelled at to stop licking her infected wound, she has had underwear put on her to avoid said licking (which did not go over well), and now the lampshade.

We all joke about how Zoe is probably thinking “What did I do wrong?”  “Why is this happening to me?”  But the truth is, Zoe hasn’t done anything wrong.  As her owners, we were looking out for her own good by getting her “fixed” to prevent future problems.  AKA: we don’t want to have puppies.

Unfortunately, her animal nature took over so she licked, bit, and messed with her stitches… which is what led to the underwear, lampshade, and trip #2 to the vet. 

But Zoe doesn’t understand.  And she probably never will.  The current pain, agitation, and annoyance remains even though this is all for the best. 

Has life got you in a lampshade?  Are you wondering what you did wrong?  Take a step back.  Maybe the current pain, agitation, annoyance, or other problems are the result of God’s greater plan.  In all things, God is working for our good.  Sometimes the road to that better plan is painful, and sometimes we make it more painful by itching, scratching, licking, and biting our way through.  Our own reactions to the things we face in life have a tremendous impact on how we arrive at God’s plans for us. 

So these are my words of advice: stop fighting it.  The more we lick, scratch, and bite, the more likely we are to end up with a lampshade on our heads wondering what happened.  Let God be God and trust in his plans.  

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).

Getting “fixed” probably wasn’t in Zoe’s plans.  But it was in ours and it prevailed along with a few unforeseen consequences.  What’s in your life that wasn’t in your original plans?  Stop thinking you’ve done something “wrong,” sometimes the path to the place God has for you just has a couple lampshades along the way.

16 clothespins, 1/2 roll of paper towels, and nylon rope

As I prepare for this trip to Costa Rica, I have been given a very specific packing list.  And I mean, specific. 

Some items make me think, why?  1/2 a roll of paper towels- separate into sheets and fit them in Ziploc bags, 16 small clothespins, nylon rope, 20 quart-sized Ziplocs. 

Some items make me think, how?  3 ounces of shampoo (how is that going to last more than 4 days?), 1 roll of toilet paper (I really hope this isn’t expected to last me 7 weeks), all things packed in a cardboard box no bigger than 62 linear inches (is this turning into math class?). 

Maybe it’s just my limited camping skills that make me look at this list and have a slight moment of panic.  Or maybe it’s just my human nature that desires comfort, familiarity, and awareness of what’s coming.  I have plenty of questions.  Questions regarding this packing list.  Questions regarding what this summer is going to look like.  Questions regarding my ability and preparedness. 

But I know this method is tried and true.  This missions agency I am going with knows what they are doing.  People have gone before me.  Things are going to be OK.

I bet Noah had some questions for God.  “Why am I building an ark?  Why are you asking me?  How am I supposed to build this ark?  How am I supposed to round up all these animals?”

I bet Mary had some questions for God.  “Why am I pregnant?!  How is this possible?  How do you expect me to explain this?”

I bet Job had some questions.  “Why are things going so badly?  What did I do wrong?  Are you going to save me from all of this?”

And Paul too.  “Why am I in jail?  How long am I here for?  Why is this my lot in life?”

But God’s methods are tried and true.  Sometimes we face things and wonder “why, God?”  Sometimes God puts seasons in our life that are filled with pain, loss, uncertainties, or other discomforts.  Sometimes we just don’t understand the packing list God gives.  But keep in mind that He knows best, He knows what works, He’s been there before, and He is working for good in our lives. 

So as I go into this trip and as I face things on God’s own packing list for me, I will trust.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).  The bottom line is that my own understanding falls far short.  As much as I’d like to know all the whys? and hows?, maybe it’s not for me to know right now.  

At some point at training camp or in Costa Rica, I bet I’ll have that moment of “Oh! That’s why I needed to bring this!”  The same is true for life- sometime down the road, you might have that moment of “Oh!  That’s what God was doing!”  So have a little trust and pack what God tells you to.